


break my heart again

by alunawrites



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: F/M, Gen, POV Bellamy Blake, POV Clarke Griffin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-14
Updated: 2021-02-22
Packaged: 2021-03-10 02:14:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,035
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27556696
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alunawrites/pseuds/alunawrites
Summary: the times clarke & bellamy say “i'm sorry.”ONGOING
Relationships: Bellamy Blake & Clarke Griffin, Bellamy Blake/Clarke Griffin
Kudos: 7





	1. Chapter 1

**“I’m sorry** ,” a broken voice whispered into the metal room. The girl spoke of the past, the present, and what she knows will be the inevitable future. The lights flickered as if the electricity could sense her grief and the distant shouting of children playing could be heard through the thick walls.

How deeply she longs for her childhood - a time simpler than the present when she felt unburdened by the horrors of war and death. Yet, no one knows better than her that innocence and simplicity do not last, rather becomes entangled with lies and distrust until it’s snuffed out. After all, it had happened to her not so long ago. Just as it will happen to the children playing outside who will also soon be thrust into responsibility and faced with the harsh reality.

The harsh reality that monsters don’t hide under beds or in dark corners. The reality that fighting doesn’t stop after the war ends and that peace is only ever built from ash and chaos. What a sinister cycle life is. Clarke knows this reality all too well. She’s faced the monsters and has become one herself, killed in an attempt for peace and burnt countless bridges along the way. How damningly misguided.

And now, all that’s left is the aftermath. All that’s left is for her is to pick up the wreckage and try to end the destruction once and for all. End it all so the children have a chance to be just that. Children. At least for a little while longer.

All she had to do is convince him. She’s failed.

Her back hunched in defeat and her hands rested dejectedly at her sides as she sat on the lone chair.

_People die when you’re in charge._   
_People die._

Her mind raced with thoughts as she tried to come up with something. Anything. She had hoped they would do this together. A hope that is now crushed.

But she can't stop now. She has to do this.

She has to. He may not know it, but she is doing what’s right; what has to be done to save them all. He’ll understand one day. They all will. Hopefully.

 **“I’m sorry, too”** he finally spoke. Bellamy, like Clarke, knew what he had to do; what he believes is right. He wishes desperately for them to be on the same side. But Clarke won’t change her mind and he cannot trust Lexa after her betrayal. Not after she forced their hands until they were forced to became murders to save their people.

It’s his job to protect her and so, he decides to do the only thing he can think of to stop her. And though she may hate him, it's what he has to do to save them all. To save her.

One day he hopes she’ll understand.

His hand slowly reaches for the handcuffs connected to his belt. He wanted to do this as gently as possible - no struggling or fighting. To save them both that pain.

Clarke, too busy mulling over her thoughts with her head bowed, didn’t notice anything. She didn’t notice as his hand crept towards her and only looked up when his hand touched hers.

It was too late, though. The handcuffs clicked as they connected her wrist to the pipe by her side.

They both knew they couldn’t go back from then. Bellamy knew he’d betrayed her trust, and he’d now have no choice but to fight. After all, she’d come to him in confidence, in faith that he would listen to her. Clarke knew she’d have to go behind his back and ultimately be on different sides. _And it broke them both._


	2. Chapter 2

Clarke always thought white was the colour of purity, of innocence, of peace and new beginnings. The infirmary where she spent her childhood was white and, as a matter of fact, most items within those confines. As were the clouds she wondered at her first day on Earth and the paper on which she drew the woman she loved. But white was always destined to be tainted - the tiniest pinch of something darker and it was ruined; never to be as it once was. And there he stood, Bellamy Blake, dressed head to toe in the colour.

It was not pure, or innocent, and certainly did not give her peace. And neither did the man wearing it, for it was not the Bellamy she’d discovered herself alongside. This was now someone different; someone who was willing to expose the young girl he’d once promised to protected.

“This is how we do better. This is the only way. **I’m sorry.”**

How dare he throw that at her. How dare he throw Monty and Harper and their wish for the world in her face. How dare he threaten to explode her entire world and then say those two damned words. Those two words were said too much yet not enough between them. The words that never made any difference.

She’s pointed a gun at many different people in her life and there she was again; the barrel pointed at the man she vowed she would never threaten again. So much for promises. Salty tears leaked from her eyes, a part of her already knowing what would need to be done but struggling to accept it.

His brown eyes looked at her with deep sadness - he knew it too. But loyalty had always been Bellamy’s weakness; to Octavia, to the 100, to her. Clarke just wondered when exactly that loyalty changed.

“You need to keep this safe for the Shepard.” He spoke, turning his back to her and reaching to pass on the notebook.

She wonders then for a moment, whether it was he who tainted the colour or whether the colour tainted him. Whether his drive for peace caused the darkness after all.

“ **I’m sorry too.”**

He turned back towards her and she pulled the trigger.

Numbness consumed her being; as if her mind was unable to comprehend the tragedy and has instead shut down her body.

As dark blood seeped and stained the white, she disappeared. Never to be seen by him again. And she, never to be fully whole.


End file.
